How To Stop Playing The Victim & Embrace Your Feminine Power

How To Stop Playing The Victim & Embrace Your Feminine Power

This week I am writing the coursework for Month Six of my ROCK Your Dream Body Immersion year-long group coaching program. I’ve been putting into words a hierarchy of feminine consciousness that I have been thinking about for quite some time.

It’s similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs and a little like Rose Cole’s High Priestess Training but totally different and totally my woo-woo-yet-grounded-fiesty-spirited way.

It goes like this. There are 4 levels of feminine consciousness (in my opinion).

4 Levels Of Feminine Consciousness

Divine Feminine

Divine Feminine being at the pinnacle and the Victim being at the lowest or base level.

Over the past several years working with clients and in working on myself (because life continues to offer greater and greater opportunities for expansion) it occurred to me that depending on our day-to-day life and our level of awareness, we oscillate through these four areas of conscious on a day-to-day, experience by experience basis.

The power in understanding this hierarchy is that once you’re aware and you pay attention to what level you are operating in, you can make a conscious choice to move to a different level so that you can spend more of your time in a more expansive, blissful state.

Woo-woo, yes, but man does it make sense when you really start to dive into it. The state of feminine consciousness that I want to discuss today is the bottom or base level, the Victim.

And bare with me, as I said, I just put all of this into words, but I think these four levels are a dead-on description of the four states of consciousness that we women experience (for many of us, the bottom three more so than the top).

I want to discuss the Victim level today, because well, it’s really common. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, awareness is the first step. Once you know you’re doing something, you have the power to change it.

The Victim level of feminine consciousness represents our lower self. She is involved in drama and conflict in her daily life and has no idea that she brings the majority of this drama and conflict onto herself.

The perfect example of this would be the office coworker who is always spreading the latest gossip or the female lead on most reality TV shows.

The Victim emerges when we’re in reaction mode. People are annoying, everything makes us angry, and “stuff” happens to us that makes our life uncomfortable.

Because the Victim expects to have her needs for things like love, safety, and acceptance met first and foremost by others, she feels trapped by her life. She feels out of control. One bad thing happens after another. She is constantly disappointed. She live in fear rather than as her higher self.

Girl, have I been there! In all honestly, I spent a little time there even just this past week.

The thing to remember is that sometimes you can get stuck being the Victim related to one area of your life (your body) but then operate at a much higher level of consciousness when it comes to another area (your career).

How To Stop Playing The Victim

To stop being the Victim, straight up, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I know that sometimes it feels like you have no options and stuff really sucks, but trust me, you have way more power and control than you are allowing yourself to utilize.

Despite the crappy things that can happen in life, you CAN choose to thrive. It will take commitment, effort, focus and accountability, but you can do it.

I have a client that recently had spinal surgery. She has a 12 inch scar down the back of her head/neck and she is re-learning how to walk, use her right arm, write, and in general, function in life.

And you know what, she is ROCKIN it. Yeah it’s tough. But she is determined to thrive.

Always Look For The Silver Lining

During our recent session, together we came to the conclusion that this life-rocking surgery and rehab is an important part of her journey in the expansion of who she truly is.

You see, without this circumstance she would never had the opportunity to expand her ability to receive and trust. She’s always been independent, so without something like this, which gives her no other choice than to rely on other people, to open herself up, and to be vulnerable, she never would have had the chance to express, strengthen, and experience these parts of herself and life.

Life can be messy, uncomfortable, and challenging but allowing ourselves to relax into playing the Victim isn’t the solution.

It’s okay to feel sorry for ourselves for a little while, but then it’s time to pick ourselves up and become solution-oriented.

The journey through challenging experiences can be joyful, amazingly surprising, and fun if we allow it to be.

We have the full range of emotions for a reason and each of us has our own unique experiences that serve in helping us to release our blocks and move through those emotions so that we can more fully experience this thing called LIFE.

Maybe you are tired of the never-ending cycle of dieting and falling off the wagon week after week and you’re yearning for a solution that gets you on track achieving and maintaining your dream body easily for the long-term.

Maybe you feel like you operate in “masculine mode” much of the time checking things off the to-do list, taking control and getting things done, and you’re ready to cultivate your feminine, nurturing, receptive side.

Maybe you have spent a ton of time researching how to lose weight, only to feel more confused than ever from all the conflicting information in the media.

I am here to support you on that journey. It is your choice to say yes, and accept that help or refuse it. By operating as the Victim, you are refusing my help, as well as, your own power.

As cliche as it sounds, only you have the power to change your life. All of the support, accountability, and resources you need to do it are right in front of you. You just have to be willing to see them, say yes to them, and start putting them into practice.

Are you ready? Apply for a 30-minute complimentary Discover Session today!

With so much love,


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