It wasn't until high school that my relationship with food got off track. I was a cheerleader and I remember being depressed because I had to be a base rather than a top since I wasn't light enough to be the one tossed up in the air.

I went to Catholic school and I wore a skirt that was two sizes too small (which was so tight it cut into my skin and left red marks around my waist) because it made me feel better than buying a bigger skirt.

Me and my body, well, we were not exactly besties at the time.

Enough Is Enough

I was doing an interview recently where I was asked to share the emotional low point that was the “enough is enough” moment that got me to realize it was time for change. You’d think a few weeks of wearing the too tight skirt would be it. It wasn’t.

Or, there was the time in college when I was on vacation with a group of friends and we were at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. One of my friends, a trainer who had recently lost a lot of weight (who I thought looked amazing) became the star of Q&A with Sheila, because I had to know how she lost the weight.

After a little while, I think she was getting irritated with my barrage of questions, so she flat out asked me how much I weighed. I told her. 165 pounds. Her response?

{gasp!} Sheila!

As if I had just told her that I had robbed a bank or something. Mind you, this was in front of everyone at the table. In that moment all I felt was SHAME. I was so ashamed about my weight. I ended up barely eating any of my dinner and the next day I started my next super restrictive diet.

Sounds like a pretty solid “enough is enough” moment, doesn’t it? But it wasn’t. I wanted relief so badly from the food-prison and body-jail that I had myself locked in, but all I knew was to just keep trying what I knew.

Sunshine, Puppy Dogs, & Bikinis…NOT

I think that wanting to change is truly the first step. Then once we have the desire the right people and resources cross our path in seemingly random ways that lead us to the next step, and the next step in our journey.

In one of my previous emails, I mentioned how working with Leigh Peele was really the first step for me in learning how to eat for nutrition rather than just eating (or not eating) in order to end the day with the least amount of calories possible.

Once I reached my goal weight, I thought I had crossed the finish line. I thought everything was going to be sunshine, puppy dogs, and bikinis only to find out that once I reached my goal, I didn’t know how to eat healthy and just be normal with food without thinking about calories, ratios, and dieting all the time. That was the next phase for me. THAT was my “enough is enough” moment.

And soon after was when I learned about Marc David and his work with the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. No joke, when I went to their website it was like the clouds parted and the heavens appeared. EVERYTHING that he teaches resonated so deeply with me and still to this day, he is one of my greatest mentors when it comes to food.

If you are interested in learning more about Marc and his work, I highly recommend checking out his programs. Good stuff.

So if you are in that place where you’ve hit that “enough is enough” moment, but you aren’t quite sure what to do… ease upon yourself a bit. Take it from me, bullying yourself just leads to more shame. And shame NEVER leads to empowerment.

You WILL find your way. You WILL figure this out. And the desire to change is the first step.