When it comes to losing weight and getting healthy and fit, most people focus solely on food and exercise.

  • Am I eating the right things in the right amounts?
  • What do I need to cut out, i.e. bread, sugar, dairy?
  • What workouts do I need to do?

As we’ve discussed already in this 3 part series, your food lifestyle and your movement (fitness) lifestyle, ARE important. However, those two parts are not the whole formula for success. There is a third leg of this tripod that is equally (if not more) important. That is, your emotional health.

Your emotions have a direct physiological affect on your body and its ability to function as a system.

Meaning, your emotions have the ability to boost your system and help it function optimally OR hinder it and cause it to operate at subpar levels. You may wonder what this has to do with weight loss and overall physical health, and I want to tell you, it has everything to do with it…think metabolism, digestion, and overall physical well-being.

I go into all of the details on why and how in my ROCK Your Dream Body “Feel Amazing” and “Immersion” courses, so if you’d like the nitty-gritty details, be sure to check those out.

For the purposes of this series, I want to focus on what you can do to keep your emotional health in tip top shape so that you can optimize your dream body results with ease.

First, let’s talk about the emotional scale.

Moving Up The Emotional Scale

As human beings, we have the ability to experience a full range of emotions. Abraham-Hicks, one of my woo-woo-y mentors from afar, refers to this as the “emotional scale,” which covers everything from the low-lows of depression, fear, and despair to the high-highs of love, empowerment, and joy.

It’s natural and expected to sometimes feel emotions on the negative (lower) end of the scale, you just don’t want to hang out there on a regular basis.

You want to understand how to consciously move yourself through your emotions, up the scale, so you can mostly hang out in the positive (higher vibe) emotions.

Consistent higher-vibe emotions = a body that works like a well-oiled machine. 

In addition to supporting your body in functioning optimally, higher-vibe emotions help you to feel empowered.

When you feel empowered, you tend to make decisions that align with that empowerment, continuing and cultivating positive momentum.

Feeling empowered in your body is one of the keys to long-term sustainable dream body success. 

It’s a self-perpetuating cycle of good stuff. And… the opposite is also true. When you feel shame, fear, anger, or resentment, you tend to make decisions that feed the momentum of that negativity (usually keeping you stuck feeling like a victim and/or out of control).

The point is, the happier you are, the better your body is able to function optimally (supporting your health goals, releasing excess weight, and generally just feeling physically awesome) AND the more likely you are to make decisions that will keep you moving in that positive, wellbeing-supportive direction).

Get Clear On Your Deeper WHY

If feeling empowered in your body and moving up the emotional scale feels like a struggle, don't worry, I've got you covered. This is actually a really common block. The reason why you aren't feeling empowered or very high-vibe is because you aren't connected to your WHY. Your WHY is the deeper reason fueling you to get healthy and fit, beyond the number on the scale or the waistband of your pants

At first, this takes practice and focus and it may feel weird because it's pretty much the opposite of what most of society tells you that you are supposed to do. But hear me out, because well, is what the rest of society is doing working for them anyway? No. So let's be open to trying something different.

In order to connect with your deep WHY you have to be willing to:

  1. Objectively take a close look at where you are.
  2. Accept where you are and clarify where you want to go.
  3. Open yourself up to a vision "bigger" than the surface goals.

I may burst a few bubbles here by saying this, but the honest to God truth is that if you have been struggling with yo-yo dieting and self-sabotage for a while and your goal is centered around hitting a certain number on the scale or the waistband of your pants, that "surface goal" may be what’s at the root of the struggle.

We set these surface goals for ourselves because we think that getting that thing, whatever it is, will ultimately make us happy. I don’t know about you, but there have been many-a-times where I set my sights on some goal (including hitting a certain number on the scale), thinking it was going to be the ultimate high only to get there and realize it didn’t make me anywhere near as happy as I thought it would.

For many of my clients, their deeper WHY typically boils down to a desire to feel amazing in their skin. To finally feel worthy of the life they really want to live. They think that once they achieve that dream body goal, THEN their physical body will finally be a true representation of who they are on the inside. THEN they will finally be free to be confident in themselves, and experience life fully.

My question to them (and to you) is, what if we could find a way for you to start feeling that confidence and self-acceptance right now, on the way to whatever physical result you want to achieve for yourself?

Side note, Danielle LaPorte's The Desire Map, was one of the best resources for me in establishing my deeper WHY.


Take some time today to journal about your deeper WHY.

  • Why do I want what I want?
  • What do I believe that will allow me to feel if I achieve it?
  • What can I do right now to begin feeling this way while I’m on my way to achieving my goals?

Assess Where You’re At & Commit To Change

Once you’ve connected with your WHY, the next step is to give yourself permission to start where you are.

Where you are right now is the perfect place for you.

And frankly, you’ve learned a lot about what you do want and what you don’t want for your life as a result of what you have experienced thus far.

NOW you have awareness.

NOW you can act, analyze, and adjust with a conscious awareness, clarity, and knowing about what it is that you actually want, beyond the surface goals.

Being connected to your deeper WHY will give you far more motivation than any diet or fitness plan can.

Because it’s designed around you, not somebody else’s black and white arbitrary rules.


Take some time to journal about your current habits of thought and behaviors related to food, fitness, your body, and life in general.

  • Are these thoughts and behaviors serving you? Are they bringing you closer to or farther away from your WHY?
  • Are you prioritizing your priorities?
  • What changes will you commit to in order to move yourself in the direction of your ultimate WHY?

Here's something else to consider:

Is it time to take a break from dieting and focus on nourishing your body for the time being?

Many times when women find their way to me, they have been dieting and over-exercising for so long that their body and metabolism have shut down. In fact, it’s common for them to believe they have ruined their metabolism beyond repair.

You haven’t ruined your metabolism.

You just have to teach your body that it can trust you again. If you have been eating very little and exercising a ton for a long time… your body very well may be resisting your efforts (because it’s trying to protect itself…because, SURVIVAL!!) and it may take some time to rebuild that trust.

You may have to focus on slowly but surely increasing the amount of food you eat and reducing the exercise that you do over a period of time before you revisit the idea of weight loss.

If you are the analytical/scientific type and still aren’t ready to let go of counting calories, I recommend checking out:

Reverse Dieting

…as well as, Layne Norton’s videos on “Metabolic Damage.”

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Appreciation: The Secret Momentum Builder

The final piece of building emotional health is to practice appreciation for this amazing miracle of a human body that you get to run around in every day, right now.

Appreciation of your body right now, today = your secret metabolism booster.

Your body is beautiful, amazing, and such a gift right here, today. It has supported you and been there for you all this time, even when you maybe haven’t been taking the best of care of it.

Rather than restricting and depriving it, nourish it with nutrient+tasty food, movement that feels good, and whatever other self-care practices feel good right now.

It's easy to take the little things related to our body for granted, like the fact that you breathe all night long, or that your heart beats without you even needing to think about it.

Appreciation reduces negative emotion and supports the positive emotional state that we talked about. It's free, it's easy (just takes focus), and it's something that only you can do for you.


Each night for the next week, make a list of 5 things about your body that you appreciate. Look for reasons to love your body, imperfections and all. This habit alone is worth its weight in gold for reprogramming your thought patterns toward positive emotions over looking for what’s wrong, which is how most people tend to think.

Change Takes Time (You Didn’t Get Here Overnight)

Remember above all, to give yourself permission and time to travel the path.

Emotional health is the key to completing the formula for long-term sustainable dream body results.

Change is not an overnight process. We live in a society that expects immediate tangible results, but the truth is, slow and steady really does win the race. It’s not the quantum leap restriction or extreme based thinking that creates long-term sustainable results. It’s the baby steps practiced consistently over time that add up to long-term sustainable change.

One of the most detrimental thing we can do for our progress and momentum is to look for results too quickly.

When they don’t show up in the exact way we want them to, we get discouraged and emotionally thrown off track (which takes us back down that emotional scale into negativity and self-sabotage).

Be kind and loving toward yourself throughout the process.

There is no one that deserves your unconditional love more than you.

You are creating new thought patterns. This takes focus and practice. You didn’t get to where you are overnight, so do not expect “perfection” ever, and especially right out of the gate.

Give yourself permission to practice, hone, and above all, to act, analyze and adjust. You are building a lifestyle here—a new way of living.

One that is inclusive, not restrictive.

One that is JOY-filled not SHAME-filled.

One where you truly feel amazing in your skin, every step of the way toward the many achievements you’ll embark on in your life and in your body.

Because wanting more, creating, and expansion is what life is all about. You’re never going to stop growing into more of who you are and how you want to show up in life.

You might as well learn how to embrace the journey, and have a lot of fun along the way, right?